Jump to content

Conflict avoidance

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Conflict avoidance is a set of behaviors aimed at preventing or minimizing disagreement with another person. In nature, animals often use avoidance to prevent risky situations.[1] These behaviors can occur before the conflict emerges (e.g., avoiding certain topics, changing the subject) or after the conflict has been expressed (e.g., withholding disagreement, withdrawing from the conversation, giving in). Conflict avoidance can be employed temporarily within a specific context or as a long-term strategy, such as avoiding certain topics or exiting a relationship.[2]

Prime minister, Shri Narendra Modi having a meeting in New Delhi at a conference promoting cooperation as a method of conflict avoidance

Although conflict avoidance can exist in any interpersonal relationship and it has been studied most closely in the contexts of family and work relationships. Consequently, research on conflict avoidance spans various disciplines including clinical psychology, social psychology, organizational behavior, communication studies, and family studies. Using humor to avoid discussing a personal issue, redirecting the conversation when disagreement arises, or becoming indifferent and uninterested during a conflict is considered avoidant behavior.[3]

Conflicts are inevitable and not always the result of malcontent or other underlying problems.[4] Avoiding all conflict is impossible.[4][5] For example, a person may experience a conflict because they want to attend two different events at the same time. Conflicts also arise when the legitimate needs or desires of two people or groups do not coincide.[6] For example, people need sleep when they are sick, but parents may find that their need for sleep is in conflict with their need to care for an equally ill child. They may have opposing interests (e.g., the parent's interest in sleep versus the child's interest in having the parent awake) or incompatible actions (e.g., the parent cannot sleep because the child is crying).[6]

Traditionally, conflict avoidance has been considered a dysfunctional approach to managing conflict by researchers, clinicians, and the general public because it leaves issues unresolved and can lead to resentment.[7][8] However, studies on conflict avoidance have produced mixed results, identifying functional benefits such as strengthening relationships, reducing stress, and increasing productivity. The general consensus is that avoidance is neither inherently good nor bad for conflict management but depends on the specific relationship, topic, and context.[9]

Terminology

[edit]

The term conflict avoidance is used to describe specific behaviors as well as a broader conflict style. A conflict happens when two opposing forces meet and cannot be easily resolved. A conflict management style is an individual's preferred method for handling conflict. Those with an avoidant style tend to sidestep disagreement, postpone dealing with conflict, or withdraw. There are two types of conflict response modes. Individuals using the "lose-leave style", or simply "avoiding", are more likely to demonstrate little concern for their partners and perceive conflict as dispensable.[3] The "accommodating style" is characterized by the act of giving up personal interests to please others and avoid confrontation.[3]

Conflict management is the process of responding to a conflict; its goal is a satisfactory resolution of the conflict.[10] Conflict resolution is finding ways to resolve the conflict. For example, the person could decide which event to attend or the parent could ask someone else to help the sick child.

A conflict management style is the habitual way that a person responds to conflict. In the Thomas-Kilman model, there are five styles of which avoidance is one.[10] For example, if the person invited to two events has an avoidant style, they might procrastinate on deciding which event to attend until it is too late to attend either of them.

Origins

[edit]

Cultural influences

[edit]
Psychological conflicting thoughts

According to Stella Ting-Toomey's Face Negotiation Theory, avoidant behavior may also be motivated by face concerns, defined as the self-image an individual has in social interactions. This theory is used by cross-cultural researchers to explain how people from different cultures interpret and react to conflict. For example, in collective societies, there is more of a sensitivity to hierarchy compared to the West, leading to greater avoidance when there is significant separation between the parties involved.[11] In collective societies, there are also greater relationship-oriented values and a belief that a direct approach will harm a relationship, causing a greater prevalence of conflict avoidance.[12] Generally, individuals from collectivist societies are more likely to avoid conflict compared to individuals from individualistic societies.[13]

Conflict avoidant behavior can be connected to experiences a person has encountered previously with confrontation, this can include exposure to criticism, hostility, unstable home life, or heated arguments during childhood.[14] Cultural influences may also strengthen this notion, especially when individuals are taught that having a disagreement is disrespectful or harmful to relationships.[14] Some other factors include low self-esteem, fear of rejection, anxiety, the need to be perfect, and people pleasing tendencies. This can lead to emotional security becoming priority.[15] In the workplace and interpersonal, conflict avoidance is often contained by putting a bandaid over situations to avoid discomfort, even though issues that weren’t solved may later contribute to held grudges, failure to communicate, and rocky relationships.[15][16]

Psychological Factors

[edit]

Psychological Factors like generalized anxiety and social anxiety can make things worse in a persons mind. Things that a normal individual may find to be uneasy may feel like actual harm is befalling a person with high levels of anxiety. They may undergo many different symptoms of having anxiety such as a tight chest, difficulty breathing and a racing heart. These symptoms could make them feel like they have no choice but to avoid conflict.[17] Low self esteem could also play a part. People with low self esteem internalize their own importance and because of this, their needs and feelings go unrecognized. They feel like they can't speak up for themselves, which in turn leads to conflict avoidance.[17]

Personality

[edit]

There are two types of conflict avoidant people. The first are ones who avoid conflict for self-preservation, and the second are the ones who do it for their own self serving reasons. Being with in a discussion with someone who is not able to see things from all points of view and only their own often lead to big altercations, in which a person might try to avoid these disagreements. Then there are people who only think about their own perspective and are afraid of any unfavorable opinion from others. They will hide their bad decisions and steer clear from conversations on the issue at hand. This type of person would come up with any excuse as to why they didn't tell someone something because they are afraid of unfavorable opinions. Dealing with someone who cannot see things from all points of view can be disheartening.[18]

Consequences of conflict avoidance

[edit]

Research within conflict avoidance psychology has identified three areas that are significantly impacted by an individual's choices surrounding conflict: stress, loneliness, and relationship satisfaction.[19] According to communication scholar Michael Roloff, the general sentiment is that leaving conflicts unresolved and unaddressed causes interpersonal issues to fester, resulting in either explosive confrontation or crippling emotional suppression. However, empirical research has found mixed results, associating conflict avoidance with both positive and negative outcomes.[9]

Intimate relationships

[edit]

Avoiding conflict is an action that can be driven by different motives. Intimacy in romantic relationships is argued to influence both the outcomes of decisions about whether to withhold relational irritations from partners and the role of various conflict avoidance motives in these decisions.[3] When it comes to matters of the heart, oftentimes people will do and say anything to avoid tension in their relationship. Even if that means emotionally hurting themselves by staying quiet. Additionally, by staying quiet they are fostering unresolved issues and causing undue stress. On the other hand, in romantic relationships conflict avoidance can be used to sidestep their anxieties, especially if they are considered low priority so the person can focus on other things. By using this strategy for conflict avoidance it becomes positive, and in turn will lead to positive outcomes.[20]

Partners in long-term relationships often "pick their battles" and withhold complaints to manage conflict. However, withdrawing from conflict has been associated with higher rates of divorce and lower relationship quality. According to communication scholars Caughlin & Scott, explicit avoidance is far more damaging than implicit or tacit avoidance.[9]

Conflict avoidance is just as prevalent within stable marriages as in unstable ones. Overall, the effect of conflict avoidance may depend on the interpretation of the behavior rather than the behavior itself.[9]

Family relationships

[edit]

Conflict in families can serve an important function, supporting child development through individuation and communicating the specific needs of individual family members. When conflicts are avoided, individuals may perceive their family as unresponsive or indifferent to their needs, which increases frustration and hostility. Conflict avoidance has been associated with poor outcomes for children, including loneliness and maladjustment.[21][22]

Conflict avoidance can result in family estrangement, as a person may break off the relationship to avoid dealing with the messy reality of other people having conflicting needs and desires.[23] A pattern of conflict avoidance can result in social isolation and not learning the skills to manage emotions.[23]

In the workplace

[edit]

Conflict avoidance has received considerably less study and attention compared to active conflict management behaviors such as mediation or integrative negotiation. This is partly due to the difficulty of studying unobservable behaviors such as "not engaging" or "avoiding" conflict.[24] In the workplace, avoiding conflict often leads to emotional suppression and feelings of powerlessness, which can increase stress, burnout, and fatigue. From a productivity perspective, conflict avoidance is negatively related to information exchange and team cohesiveness. Unresolved conflict in the workplace has been linked to miscommunication resulting from confusion or refusal to cooperate, increased stress, reduced creative collaboration and team problem-solving, and distrust.[25] However, this negative effect depends on the quality of workplace relationships; in generally positive relationships, avoiding conflict can be associated with higher productivity.[9]

Ignoring or avoiding workplace conflict can lead to a myriad of negative consequences that may hinder productivity, damage relationships, and ultimately, hurt the bottom line.[26] Unresolved conflict can cause tension which can make people become unmotivated and/or not want to be team players.

Measuring conflict avoidance

[edit]

There are two main approaches to studying conflict avoidance in academic research: self-report scales and behavioral observation. Several instruments have been developed to measure conflict management styles based on the dual-concerns model and are listed below:

Instrument Author Context
Conflict Strategies in Serial Arguments Bevan (2014) Romantic Couples
Dutch Test for Conflict Handling (DUTCH) De Dreu et al. (2001) Workplace Conflict
Management of Differences Exercise (MODE) Thomas & Kilmann (1977) Workplace Conflict
Organizational Communication Conflict Instrument (OCCI) Putnam & Wilson (1982) Workplace Conflict
Rahim Organizational Conflict Inventory II (ROCI - II) Rahim (1983) Workplace Conflict

Among the various methods used for data gathering during research, one that is most commonly is the self-report scale. This method involves asking participants to ask to questions regarding their beliefs, opinions, attitudes, and behaviors.[27] The greatest advantage of using self-report scales is that they directly reveal the point of view of an individual, but answers cannot always be accurate since respondents might misunderstand questions or fail to remember key information.[27]

Individuals answering to a questionnaire. Method used in self-report scales to measure conflict avoidance

Meanwhile, the behavioral observation refers to a methodology of collecting data whereby individuals are observed and their behaviors documented.[28] It allows researches to gather information from what individuals do and not what they say about themselves. The use of this method provides a chance to gather less biased and objective data.[28] However, it is very time-consuming, and people may change their behaviors in the presence of the observer.[28] A common example of behavioral observation is conducting research studies in classrooms, where students' behaviors in class activities are observed and recorded by researchers.

Strategic goals

[edit]

Early research in conflict management focused on effective ways to actively manage conflict within the organizational setting. This line of research was largely inspired by the Management Grid introduced by theoreticians Robert R. Blake and Jane Mouton as well as Morton Deustch's Theory of Cooperation and Competition. In the 1970s and 80s, various management scholars redeveloped these models, renaming the various dimensions and developing self-report scales to measure individual conflict management styles. One of the most popular versions to come out of this research was the Dual Concerns Model introduced by Pruitt & Rubin (1986) to predict behavior in negotiations. They labeled the two dimensions: concern for self and concern for others. The avoidance conflict style is marked by a low concern for self and low concern for their negotiation partner.[29] While the specific labels for each dimension and conflict styles vary across different models, avoidance is generally considered a passive, lose-lose approach.[30]

Interventions

[edit]
Cognitive behavior therapy can assist people in overcoming conflict avoidance

Having the tools to work through interpersonal conflict can benefit relationships.[31] Those who study conflict avoidance have found helpful tools to overcome it. One such tool is mindfulness, which can help people who tend to avoid conflict be self-aware and give themselves time to respond to a perceived conflict by remaining calm and clear-headed.[32] Another suggested tool is building communication skills, including assertiveness training.[32] By practicing assertive communication in small steps, people can begin to build confidence in navigating conflict. This can be accomplished by clearly stating preferences and communicating boundaries.[31] An example of this could be clearly stating to your roommate that you prefer to sleep in later in the morning. By clearly communicating this preference, you can reduce the possibility of a conflict arising from your roommate waking up early and loudly preparing for the day, disturbing you while unaware of your preference for sleeping in.

Another way to practice assertive communication is to use it with a friend or family member you are comfortable with first, before trying it in the workplace or greater community. By learning and practicing effective communication and expressing needs, conflict arises less frequently.[32] When conflict does arise, having an effective way to communicate about it reduces the need to avoid the conflict.[32] In cases where an individual needs extra support, mental health professionals can assist those seeking to stop conflict avoidance with techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy.[32]

See also

[edit]

References

[edit]
  1. ↑ LeDoux, J E; Moscarello, J; Sears, R; Campese, V (January 2017). "The birth, death and resurrection of avoidance: a reconceptualization of a troubled paradigm". Molecular Psychiatry. 22 (1): 24–36. doi:10.1038/mp.2016.166. ISSN 1359-4184. PMC 5173426. PMID 27752080.
  2. ↑ Berger, Charles R; Roloff, Michael E; Wilson, Steve R; Dillard, James Price; Caughlin, John; Solomon, Denise, eds. (2015-12-11). The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication (1 ed.). Wiley. doi:10.1002/9781118540190. ISBN 978-1-118-30605-5.
  3. 1 2 3 4 Cloven, Denise Haunani (1992). Conflict avoidance in personal relationships: An examination of motives. Northwestern University: ProQuest Dissertations & Theses. pp. 1–10.
  4. 1 2 "Why We Should Be Disagreeing More at Work". Harvard Business Review. 2018-01-03. ISSN 0017-8012. Retrieved 2025-01-28.
  5. ↑ "Conflict is unavoidable. Suffering is optional. | Psychology Today". www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved 2025-01-28.
  6. 1 2 Ayoko, Oluremi B.; Ashkanasy, Neal M.; Jehn, Karen A. (2014-07-31). Handbook of Conflict Management Research. Edward Elgar Publishing. pp. 34–35. ISBN 978-1-78100-694-8.
  7. ↑ Tjosvold, Deon; Sun, Haifa F. (2002-01-01). "Understanding Conflict Avoidance: Relationship, Motivations, Actions, and Consequences". International Journal of Conflict Management. 13 (2): 142–164. doi:10.1108/eb022872. ISSN 1044-4068.
  8. ↑ Caughlin, John P.; Hardesty, Jennifer L.; Middleton, Ashley V. (2012-01-20). Noller, Patricia; Karantzas, Gery C. (eds.). The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Couples and Family Relationships (1 ed.). Wiley. pp. 115–128. doi:10.1002/9781444354119. ISBN 978-1-4443-3450-0.
  9. 1 2 3 4 5 Roloff, Michael E.; Liu, Esther (2016). "Conflict Avoidance". In Berger, Charles R.; Roloff, Michael E.; Wilson, Steve R.; Solomon, Denise (eds.). The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication. The Wiley Blackwell-ICA international encyclopedias of communication. Hoboken: Wiley Blackwell. pp. 1–9. doi:10.1002/9781118540190.wbeic020. ISBN 978-1-118-30605-5.
  10. 1 2 Ronquillo, Yasmyne; Ellis, Vickie L.; Toney-Butler, Tammy J. (2026), "Conflict Management in Healthcare", StatPearls, Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing, PMID 29262184, retrieved 2026-06-09
  11. ↑ Friedman, Ray; Chi, Shu-Cheng; Liu, Leigh Anne (2006-01-01). "An expectancy model of Chinese–American differences in conflict-avoiding". Journal of International Business Studies. 37 (1): 76–91. doi:10.1057/palgrave.jibs.8400172. ISSN 1478-6990.
  12. ↑ Chunyan Peng, Ann; Tjosvold, Dean (2011). "Social face concerns and conflict avoidance of Chinese employees with their Western or Chinese managers". Human Relations. 64 (8): 1031–1050. doi:10.1177/0018726711400927. ISSN 0018-7267.
  13. ↑ Leung, Kwok (1988). "Some Determinants of Conflict Avoidance". Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology. 19 (1): 125–136. doi:10.1177/0022002188019001009. ISSN 0022-0221.
  14. 1 2 "Understanding the Conflict Avoidance Style: Why Some People Steer Clear of Confrontation". Modern Minds. 2024-11-21. Retrieved 2026-05-29.
  15. 1 2 "How Conflict Avoidance Quietly Kills Your Relationship". Heart and Oak Therapy. Retrieved 2026-05-29.
  16. ↑ Mon, Abel Mesfin on; May 15. "The High Cost of Avoiding Workplace Conflict". www.vital-learning.com. Retrieved 2026-05-30.
  17. 1 2 team, NeuroLaunch editorial (2024-09-15). "Conflict Avoidance Psychology: Causes, Effects, and Strategies for Overcoming". NeuroLaunch.com. Retrieved 2026-06-07.
  18. ↑ "The Conflict Avoidant: Two Distinct Types | Psychology Today". www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved 2026-06-12.
  19. ↑ Bruce, Madeline J.; Chang, Alexander; Evans, Luke; Streb, Madison; Dehon, Jewell; Handal, Paul J. (2022-12-15). "Relationship of Conflict, Conflict Avoidance, and Conflict Resolution to Psychological Adjustment". Psychological Reports. 127 (5): 2324–2333. doi:10.1177/00332941221146708. ISSN 0033-2941. PMID 36520593.
  20. ↑ "Understanding the Conflict Avoidance Style: Why Some People Steer Clear of Confrontation". Modern Minds. 2024-11-21. Retrieved 2026-05-29.
  21. ↑ Koerner, Ascan F.; Fitzpatrick, Mary Anne (2006), "Family Conflict Communication", The SAGE Handbook of Conflict Communication: Integrating Theory, Research, and Practice, 2455 Teller Road, Thousand Oaks California 91320 United States: SAGE Publications, Inc., pp. 159–184, doi:10.4135/9781412976176.n6, ISBN 978-0-7619-3045-7, retrieved 2024-11-24{{citation}}: CS1 maint: location (link)
  22. ↑ Caughlin, John P.; Hardesty, Jennifer L.; Middleton, Ashley V. (2012-01-20), "Conflict Avoidance in Families", in Noller, Patricia; Karantzas, Gery C. (eds.), The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Couples and Family Relationships (1 ed.), Wiley, pp. 113–128, doi:10.1002/9781444354119.ch8, ISBN 978-1-4443-3450-0, retrieved 2024-11-24
  23. 1 2 Volpe, Allie (2025-01-15). ""Protecting your peace" can kill your friendships". Vox. Retrieved 2025-01-28.
  24. ↑ Hample, Dale; Hample, Jessica Marie (2019-11-11). "There is No Away: Where Do People Go When They Avoid an Interpersonal Conflict?". Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. 13 (4). doi:10.34891/fy30-0198. ISSN 1750-4716.
  25. ↑ Workplace Coach: Companies pay the price when managers avoid dealing with conflict, Maureen, Moriarty, Seattlepi, Oct. 28, 2007.
  26. ↑ Mon, Abel Mesfin on; May 15. "The High Cost of Avoiding Workplace Conflict". www.vital-learning.com. Retrieved 2026-05-30.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  27. 1 2 Razavi, T. (2001). Self-report measures: An overview of concerns and limitations of questionnaire use in occupational stress research. University of Southampton, Department of Accounting and Management Science Working Paper 01-175. https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/35712/
  28. 1 2 3 Ciesielska, M., Boström, K. W., & Öhlander, M. (2018). Observation methods. In M. Ciesielska & D. Jemielniak (Eds.), Qualitative research in organization studies: Volume 2. Methods and possibilities (pp. 33–52). Palgrave Macmillan. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/321806239_Observation_Methods
  29. ↑ De Dreu, Carsten K. W.; Evers, Arne; Beersma, Bianca; Kluwer, Esther S.; Nauta, Aukje (2001). "A theory-based measure of conflict management strategies in the workplace". Journal of Organizational Behavior. 22 (6): 645–668. doi:10.1002/job.107. ISSN 0894-3796.
  30. ↑ Roloff, Michael E.; Liu, Esther (2016). Berger, Charles R.; Roloff, Michael E.; Wilson, Steve R.; Solomon, Denise (eds.). The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication. The Wiley Blackwell-ICA international encyclopedias of communication. Hoboken: Wiley Blackwell. pp. 1–9. doi:10.1002/9781118540190.wbeic020. ISBN 978-1-118-30605-5.
  31. 1 2 "Understanding the Conflict Avoidance Style: Why Some People Steer Clear of Confrontation". Modern Minds. 2024-11-21. Retrieved 2026-06-05.
  32. 1 2 3 4 5 "Conflict Avoidance In Adults: Causes, Symptoms, And Strategies". missionconnectionhealthcare.com. Retrieved 2026-05-28.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Conflict_avoidance&oldid=1363327200"