We hit several open houses over the weekend and one in particular was more than a bit strange and annoying. Right after we entered and we heard children downstairs, the showing agent made a point of saying ‘hope you don’t mind my family is here.’ We took that to mean she was watching her grandchildren. No big deal. Turned out other people we’d assumed were other potential buyers were also family, friends, or neighbors. There were 6 other people besides the agent just hanging out. Two kids and four adults, two of which were on the HOA board. We liked the home but it made us question the neighborhood. I guess it was convenient having the HOA president and treasurer there to answer our questions, but they were a bunch of loud talkers wandering around pointing out their neighbor’s decorating decisions while their kids ran around.
I know, I know. I’m gonna make some people feel all tingly in a bad way. Just hear me out.
People should know what they’re walking into and how full of shit the listing agent may or may not be.
I’m also over going to a showing and the listing agent knows “nothing” about the home. Seriously, SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW.
Roof? Idk. Septic? Idk. Flooding? Idk. Where’s the property end? Idk. HVAC? Idk (it’s 2015 we found it ourselves). Water heater? Idk. What conveys with the property? Idk. Is that someone’s easement? Idk.
WHY IS THERE SEVERAL TONS OF BEESWAX IN A MACHINE IN THE BARN?! “Idk”.
😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
We looked at a home today. You know what the listing description read? “Fully renovated and remodeled”. I would like to know what drugs they’re on. Seriously. Someone call my doctor because that level of delusion is worth a prescription.
The wood rot on the front and back porch is so bad you can see entire chunks of wood missing. The toilet is old, the entire bathroom is outdated and worn heavily.
The visible part of the foundation has some kind of massive chunks taken out of it (I’m not an engineer idk how the hell that happens) and coincidentally that part of the home is settling/sinking/lower than the rest whatever you want to call it. The washer is in the kitchen, the dryer is in the hallway. The air handler with filter has also been converted into a tiny pantry so idk how tf to deal with that I feel like it’s not handling much air when it’s behind a closed door and some beans. Oh the roof, how’s the roof? The paint is peeling off so hard it almost looks intentional like they wanted a vintage look. How old is it? I don’t know, because the listing agent didn’t know.
“What’s this giant piece of industrial equipment taking up 1/4 of the barn?” Dude doesn’t know. I figured it out. It’s a BEESWAX BOILER that’s approx 15’ tall. It is full of beeswax, that was cool. Not useful and not operational but if you like beeswax I’ll give you the address. Buy yourself a sheep farm with a beeswax machine. They don’t have bees…but there’s literally a ton of beeswax just solid in a machine. Can’t make this up.
Anyway.
The listing says “VA eligible” the VA wouldn’t approve that house even if a Disney Fairy waved a wand and Christina Aguilera rubbed a Genie lamp at the same time while my Native uncle did a dance in the front yard next to an entire field of lucky four leaf clovers being farmed by the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
Part of the kitchen was redone and the living room was redone. I’ll give them that.
Oh, and the owners are trying to move to Alaska within 30 days meanwhile there’s two semi trucks under overgrown brush with trailers attached. 60 sheep, 8 dogs. And tons of pieces of random, huge metal farm equipment covering probably 2 acres next to the barn. I wanna know how that’s gonna get cleaned up. Because you know damn well it won’t. The listing agent confidently said we can put into the contract that it has to be removed before closing.
LOLOLOL OK SURE. I’ll believe that like I’ll believe flat earthers on meth at 6am outside the Circle K.
You know what that listing should have said?
“As is cash offers only. Settled foundation, needs other improvements. New kitchen. Huge barn. Beeswax lover’s wet dream”.
🐝 💦
My realtor toured my home, recommended work, had his handyman give me a quote. He said the house cant be posted online until the photos are taken. But the photos can’t be taken until his handyman finishes the work. And now I’m being told that I have to pay the travel fee for the photographer. The one that I didn’t choose and that the agency uses for all their homes. Is this normal?
