Yes, research match is sooo important! If it makes you feel any better, I didn't do any undergrad research in psychology because of covid. All my research experience was in social work, and I learned so much! I worked for a few years because that's the norm for clinical psych, and I got more related experience at that point. I would argue paid research experience is viewed more favorably than undergrad lab work, so if you're okay taking a gpa year or two you could try to find a paid research position. However, I think you have good background so it could be worth applying to see if you get an acceptance. Good luck to you!
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I'm in a clinical psychology PhD program right now. It's incredibly competitive, so really your undergraduate institution is helpful for access to resources and networking. The most important part for getting into a program is your research match with your prospective mentor. If you're a good research fit that's way more influential than the undergraduate institution. As long as it's a reputable school/not a degree mill I don't know how much it matters.
I think some people are insecure because they have money and know other people don't and feel bad/awkward to talk about it. I think some people are insecure because they know having a better financial situation makes the PhD process easier. Sometimes it can also be both. Talking about funding puts on display an advantage they have and benefit from and makes it uncomfortable because there's no easy way to make things equal for everyone. There could also be a part of them deep down that doesn't want things to be equal/feels like you're responsible for your own circumstances even though everyone has a different starting line but the same finish line.
From what I've noticed, a lot of people the pursue academia or some sort of doctoral degree come from a wealthy background or their parents are well educated. It's a lot harder to justify getting a degree that barely pays you a livable wage when you have no extra financial cushion or family members to support. If you have a spouse or family member that can cover costs like rent and tuition, that is a huge financial burden removed. I think people get defensive because, the truth is, if you don't have those financial burdens, then your journey isn't as difficult in the same ways. Those people are absolutely still hard workers and intelligent for getting into a program, but it's even harder if you have to spread your time working more hours and have additional stressors about food and living costs. I've noticed a lot of people that are accustomed to that lifestyle don't even realize or acknowledge that it's easier for them. They don't know how to relate and then also think, it isn't difficult for me, so why is it difficult for you? It reminds me of the episode from arrested development when Lucille Bluth says, "It's a banana, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?"
As someone that's doing their PhD and researching cognitive decline, you absolutely did the right thing. Prior to my PhD program, I did a lot of cognitive testing with older adults, and it can be really tough to watch someone decline over time. A lot of the time when you have someone with a doctoral degree, their decline takes longer to fully notice because they have a higher baseline of functioning. There are so many people in denial, and it's incredibly scary and frustrating for them to not be able to do what they used to. Depending on what type of dementia (e.g., Alzheimer's, vascular, etc.), it could explain certain behaviors. If you feel like he's being exceedingly stubborn or agitated, more than you've ever known him to be, that's likely the disease and not him. I think it's good you brought attention to it because it could be something he's been trying to hide from family or friends as well. I hope he's able to get the care he needs because if he's that in denial, he may not have sought out medical care to address it. You've taken on a substantial extra load, and it's common for people to feel guilty and experience burnout when consistently interacting with someone that has dementia. You did the best you could given the circumstances, so be kind to yourself. It always feels bad to question someone's capabilities and independence, but realistically it's better that you pointed it out now before something worse happens that can cause him to be in a lot of trouble.
I think it depends. If you're looking at the admission requirements posted on the website, usually they say we take X GPA as general criteria. They use GPA as a screening tool because realistically a lot of applicants are really good, so they need to use some metric to start to cut down the pool.
I will say, certain PIs will reject applications with low GPAs also because the university has to accept your bid to start a PhD. A lot of PIs will not consider an applicant if there's a big risk of the university rejecting them. As a student, you're an investment. The university and PI are investing money/funding with the hopes you'll succeed and finish the PhD. It reflects poorly on the PI and the school if you have to withdraw. If someone has a low GPA not due to extenuating circumstances, then they're a riskier investment and that's why the bid gets denied by the university.
I think the best thing to do is ask the PI/department about it. I'm assuming you've probably shared your CV with the PI, so it probably isn't an issue, but it's worth asking. On the admissions websites there's usually a faculty/staff member that's designated as point person for answering admissions questions.
If your GPA proves to be a problem as time goes on, it could be worth retaking some of the classes you did poorly in at a community college. In my field, if people have bad undergraduate GPAs they usually do a master's degree.
I just started my PhD and had a 4 year gap where I was a research coordinator. I'm really glad I took some time to work. Ideally maybe the gap would've been 3 years, but the PhD applications are super competitive in my field. Working and saving money really helped buffer my finances since stipends are barely livable. I also gained so much research experience and understanding about what I wanted to do/my populations of interest. I think 2-3 years is a better gap than a single year. It can kind of be hard to get things done in one year. Good luck!
